One of the many endearing qualities of golf is the cast of characters that the game attracts. So, it naturally follows that the game generates wonderful stories, many of which are hilarious.

Golf Digest‘s December issue passes along a couple of dozen of those funny anecdotes (see more here) and I can think of no better way to start off the New Year than to take a few minutes and enjoy them all. One of my favorites is one that NBC golf commentator Roger Maltbie passes along about an interview with the legendary Sam Snead:

It’s 1999, and we’re doing the U.S. Open at Pinehurst. I’m in the tower at 18 with Dan Hicks. We decide to do an interview with Sam. He was what, 87 or something?

We were advised that Sam had good days and bad days, so we decided to do the interview on tape. The last thing you want to do is embarrass anybody.

It started slowly, but all of a sudden Sam turns to Dan and says, "You know, I sat down and thought about it once, and if I had shot 69 in the final round of the Open, I’d have won eight of them."

From that moment, he snapped in and he was lucid. Clear as a bell. So then Dan asked him about his longevity.

Sam said, "Well, I never drank much. Always took pretty good care of myself. Got to bed early, got a lot of sleep."

Then, with an old Sam Snead grin, he looked at Dan and said,

"Course, I did shake those bedsprings every now and then!"

With that, we lose it. So the interview never aired, but it was tremendous.

There are many other classics, such as the one about Boo Weekley’s boxing match against an orangutan and Gary McCord’s first meeting with Ben Hogan. And an article about funny golf stories would not be complete without one from Clear Thinkers favorite Dan Jenkins, who describes his nervousness in addressing his first tee shot while playing an exhibition with Arnold Palmer and Dow Finsterwald in front of a big gallery:

I simply stood there, waiting for some divine power to move the clubhead back. I don’t have any idea how or where the ball went. All I could hear was Finsterwald saying, "Go ahead and hit another one."

I suavely turned around, pitched the driver to my caddie and said, "Let’s play it, baby."

"It’ll be kind of tough off that roof across the street," said Palmer.

Houston is well-represented, with anecdotes from longtime residents Jackie Burke and Steve Elkington, who tells a great one about watching Colin Montgomerie polishing off a massive dessert before a big match.

But the late Dave Marr — who was one of Houston and golf’s finest storytellers – takes the top prize among Houstonians with this anecdote about a pro-am incident involving the legendarily caustic wit of the late Tommy Armour:

The best one I remember hearing involved Tommy Armour, who was acute, to say the least, in his observations of people.

He was playing in a pro-am with a guy who showed up the first day in an all-blue outfit, including his bag and headcovers — even his shoes. And he shot a 95.

The next day he came out in an all-red outfit — bag, shirt, shoes, everything — and this time he shot a 96.

And he said, "Mr. Armour, I’ve played two days with you, and I would really appreciate any comments you have about my golf game."

Armour looked at him a minute and then said,

"I think you’re a shot better in blue."