Category Archives: Humor

Icahn on settling Pennzoil-Texaco with Jamail

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This blog is mostly about business and law, so Carl Icahn’s activities have been a frequent topic. Likewise, this blog also centers on Houston, where the Pennzoil v. Texaco case from the mid-1980’s is a part of the city’s storied legal lore. Consequently, the video below of Icahn doing his equivalent of a standup comedy routine describing how he settled the Pennzoil-Texaco case with famed Houston plaintiff’s lawyer Joe Jamail is an absolute classic for this blog. A very big hat tip to John Carney at Dealbreaker for the link to the Icahn video.

They just don’t make football players like that anymore

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The Johnny Carson interview below of former Baltimore Colts defensive tackle Art Donovan had my late father and me (as well as Carson himself) in stitches when we first saw it together back in 1990. Donovan’s description of his on-the-field spat with Norm Van Brocklin is a classic.

Indexed

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Indexed 022908 Jessica Hagy has had a smart blog for awhile. Now, she has a smart book. Barry Ritholtz provides a taste of her work. She is a very insightful lady. Enjoy

"Re"-examination?

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HoustonChronicle logo 022608 Kevin Whited over at BlogHouston.net notices a little news you can use from Houston’s leading news source:

The Chronicle ran a correction that was notable for its length today:

An article in Feb. 18 editions repeated charges made by Republican candidate for Congress Dean Hrbacek that a law firm, Williams & Jensen, had ties to Jack Abramoff. The article also cited reports that the firm’s managing partner, L. Steven Hart, traveled with a group of government officials and lobbyists to Scotland to play golf.

After being contacted by Williams & Jensen concerning the accuracy of the article, the Houston Chronicle’s re-examination has revealed that Hart’s correct name is J. Steven Hart, that there is no credible evidence that Hart traveled to Scotland with government officials on one of Abramoff’s trips or otherwise, and, also, that there is no credible evidence that Williams and Jensen has any "ties" to Abramoff or his lobbying activities.

Gosh, given the results of the Chron’s re-examination, where was the research for the original examination performed? Over a beer at the local icehouse?

Born Standing Up

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born_standing_up.jpgDon’t miss this Smithsonian.com excerpt from comedian Steve Martin’s new autobiographical book, Born Standing Up: A Comic’s Life (Scribner 2007). Take, for example, Martin’s hilarious description of the implementation of his novel theory of comedy in one of his initial shows:

A skillful comedian could coax a laugh with tiny indicators such as a vocal tic (Bob Hope’s “But I wanna tell ya”) or even a slight body shift. Jack E. Leonard used to punctuate jokes by slapping his stomach with his hand. One night, watching him on “The Tonight Show,” I noticed that several of his punch lines had been unintelligible, and the audience had actually laughed at nothing but the cue of his hand slap.
These notions stayed with me until they formed an idea that revolutionized my comic direction: What if there were no punch lines? What if there were no indicators? What if I created tension and never released it? What if I headed for a climax, but all I delivered was an anticlimax? What would the audience do with all that tension? Theoretically, it would have to come out sometime. But if I kept denying them the formality of a punch line, the audience would eventually pick their own place to laugh, essentially out of desperation. This type of laugh seemed stronger to me, as they would be laughing at something they chose, rather than being told exactly when to laugh.

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The faux-analyst

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earnings%20call.jpgOne of the funniest things I read from this past weekend was this W$J article about the earnings conferences calls being crashed by a faux-analyst named Joe Herrick:

At least seven times just the past three weeks, a mystery caller has cleverly insinuated himself into the normally well-manicured ritual of the quarterly calls. As top executives of publicly traded companies respond to securities analysts’ questions about their balance sheets, he impersonates a well-known analyst to get called upon. Then, usually declaring himself to be “Joe Herrick of Gutterman Research,” he launches into his own version of analyst-speak.
“Congratulations on the solid numbers — you always seem to come through in challenging times,” he said to Leo Kiely, president and chief executive officer of Molson Coors Brewing Co., on Feb. 12, convincingly parroting the obsequious banter common to the calls. “Can you provide some more color as to what you are doing for your supply chain initiatives to reduce manufacturing costs per hectoliter, as you originally promised $150 million in synergy or savings to decrease working capital?”

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Letterman on body painting

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David Letterman discusses body painting with Sports Illustrated cover girl Marisa Miller, who is a good sport about it all.

Waxing philosophic on bad announcing

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buck%20and%20aikman.jpgMy standards for announcers of football games are not high, but it seemed to me that the Fox Sports announcing team of Joe Buck and Troy Aikman in last weekend’s Super Bowl LXII game were unusually bad. For example, neither of them made much of Coach Belichick’s dubious decision of going for it on 4th and 13 on the Giants 32 yard line rather trying a long field goal (49 yards) that is made easier by the pristine conditions in which the game was played. In particular, Aikman — who has that annoying ability to say absolutely nothing of substance while reciting overlapping clichÈs — could not bring himself to stop rhapsodizing about Tom Brady’s “coolness under fire” despite the fact that Brady was missing badly on relatively easy passes while looking antsy in the pocket over the brutal pounding that he was enduring from the Giants’ front seven.
Noting the same mediocrity in announcing quality, Michael BÈrubÈ takes up another key call in the game and provides this imaginary dialogue between Buck and Aikman.
We can only dream. ;^)

You think it’s hard being a Houston sports fan?

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NY%20Jets%20fans.jpgAs noted earlier here, it’s not easy being a fan of Houston sports teams. But as difficult as that may be, it’s nothing compared to the angst that long-suffering New York Jets fans are enduring as a result of having their two most-hated rivals in Super Bowl XLII:

Perhaps the only thing worse for Jets fans than watching their team finish 4-12 this season, is knowing the historic Feb. 3 matchup pits their big-brother co-tenants, the Giants, against Bill Belichick and the ever-villainous Patriots.
“I can’t wait for this to be over,” said [longtime Jets fan Ira] Lieberfarb, a 53-year-old auto-parts wholesaler and a regular caller on local sports-talk radio who attends virtually every Jets game, home and away. “Whichever team wins it, I’m going to suffer. I grew up in Sheepshead Bay getting abused by Giants fans and mostly everyone at my party will be Giants fans. I can’t escape that. But I don’t know a single Jets fan that could root for the Patriots and Belichick.”

Which reminds me of the funny video below that chronicles the reaction of Jets fans to their team’s horrible draft picks from over the years:

No sympathy

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question%20mark.jpgThis NY Times article from the other day reports on the increasing numbers of lawyers and doctors who are plagued by self-doubt (who’d have ever thought that?). Mr. Juggles over at Long & Short Capital has no sympathy:

To the lawyers:
In case the Neiman Marcus purchases succeeded in lifting your morale and left you with the impression that what you did counted for something, please let me add some critical information: It doesnít. This is why you are paid, on an hourly-adjusted basis, like a recent (2nd tier) college graduate.
To the doctors:
The fact that I was able to diagnose my own illness after 15 min on WebMD speaks to the value of your knowledge. Perhaps our relationship would be more productive if you would stop making me wait 3 days for an appointment (and 90 minutes once I get to the office) to diagnose a sinus infection that I already know I have. Give me the antibiotics without the self-importance. I will come see you again when I have something you can actually be helpful with. For instance, after I break my arm trying to carry my bonus home, I will come see you and you can set the cast. Until then, please stop whining.