So, it’s the Stros versus the Chicago White Sox in the 2005 World Series. Houstonians know Chicago well, as the Cubs are fierce National League Central Division rivals of the Stros, most recently responsible for knocking the Stros out of a 2003 National League playoff spot on the final weekend of the regular season. We long-suffering Houstonian sports fans in general — and Stros fans in particular — tend to remember those things for awhile.
However, the rivalry between the Stros and the Cubs pales in comparison to the rivalry among Chicagoans between supporters of the Cubs and White Sox, a rivalry that cuts across generations and class lines. Former Chicagoan (and Cubs fan) Larry Ribstein recently passed along the following excerpt from a John Kass-Chicago Tribune article that describes the Cubs-White Sox rivalry from the perspective of a Cubs fan:

As per your offer asking Cubs fans to beg for a chance to sit with you in your seats at Sox Park: I’m absolutely astounded that you think any Cubs fan would want to sit amongst greasy pork-butchers, filthy plumbers and inebriated truck drivers watching the laughable White Sox.

Please don’t get me wrong. The South Side serves a purpose. It provides a place for the lower classes to live. I am sure that cabdrivers, sewer workers and other lower-class denizens all need a place to live that is inexpensive and close to the odoriferous bars where they drink non-premium beer and lament their wasted lives.
Why would I trade an enjoyable afternoon to suffer the endless buffoonery of the White Sox? I’ll tell you why: I would like the opportunity to show those crotch-scratching, tobacco-chewing malingerers (and the White Sox team as well) how a real gentleman attends a baseball game with panache and elan. If you choose me, I will show you how we do it at Wrigley Field, complete with a picnic basket and a fine Chardonnay. And being the gentleman that I am, I promise not to stare at the locals . . . not even at you. Regards from the civilized world.

That condescending view is fairly standard in the cultural divide between Sox and Cub fans, so Sox fans in Chicago are having quite a good time these days reveling in the first trip of their club to the World Series since 1959, while Cub fans deal with the perpetual disappointment of yet another underachieving season from their club. As a result, some enterprising Sox fans have prepared this “Cubs to White Sox Conversion Form” that they are delivering en masse to Cubs fans over the next few days to give them an opportunity to jump on the Sox bandwagon. The first question on the conversion form gives you an idea where it is going:

1. Please indicate the last time that you watched the Chicago Cubs win the pennant:

[ ] 1945 (please leave this completed form at the front desk of your nursing home)
[ ] Have never witnessed this event.

Update: My cousin and native Chicagoan Steve Rassenfoss passes along this Chicago Sun-Times article that reports on a demographic study that reveals shocking information for Sox fans:

You’re not gonna believe this, Sox fans.
You’re better educated, wealthier and more white-collar than the general public.
In fact, Sox fans are remarkably similar to Cubs fans in nearly every demographic category . . . , even down to political affiliation.
In short, you’re almost identical — gulp — to Cubs fans.

“Almost identical to a Cubs fan”? The ultimate insult to a Sox fan!