In summertime, thoughts turn to golf, and the August issue of Golf Digest is called it’s All-American edition. That theme gives columnist Dan Jenkins an opportunity to provide his wit and wisdom on America’s contributions to golf in this hilarious article entitled What America gave Golf — We might have burned the edges, but the good outweighs the bad (previous posts on Mr. Jenkins’ work are here, here, here, and here). The entire article is a must read, but here are a few Jenkins pearls to peak your interest:

It’s easy enough to blame America for the six-hour round, . . . but ask yourself this: What would the game be like without the gimme, the mulligan, the shapely cart girl and a chili dog at the turn?

Look at it this way: If America hadn’t gotten interested in the game we might still be swinging at it in tweed coats and plus fours, and trying to talk like Alistair Cooke. . . But what about today? Do we really need a golf ball that can puncture a hole in the side of a 68.7-ton Abrams tank when an anemic 14-year old girl swings at it and doesn’t even take the 7-wood back to horizontal? This is the same golf ball you can launch in London with a high slice, have it self-correct somewhere over Paris, and eventually land safely in the fairway in Milan.

Mr. Jenkins goes on to discuss the purely American phenomenom known as “the Amana hat,” the invention of metal woods, Jimmy Demarat’s flashy clothes, $400 green fees, and the 900 yard par five, to which he observes:

Which begs the question of whether we really need a 900-yard par 5. I mean, does anyone need a 900-yard par 5 other than the real-estate developer who’ll surround it with townhouses on streets named for famous courses he’s never seen and therefore misspells? Welcome to Interlacking Drive . . . Baltusrover Avenue . . . Winged Valley Court . . . Oakland Pines Boulevard. America didn’t originate the gated community — I think you have to give that to Buckingham Palace — but we popularized it and contributed the windshield decal.

Read the entire article. No doubt about it, Dan Jenkins is one of America’s great contributions to golf.