Clear Thinkers favorite Dan Jenkins is the best writer on golf of our times, but his daughter Sally is a darn good golf writer in her own right (previous posts here). In this column after Tiger Woods’ Saturday round this past weekend in preparing to win the PGA Championship, Sally Jenkins does as good a job as I’ve seen of capturing Woods’ special talent:

Woods is the only player who matters in this PGA, and frankly, he’s the only player who consistently matters in all of golf. To properly appreciate Woods’s performance here, you better enjoy dictatorships because that’s what his reign as the best player in the world has turned into. Woods has reached the point where he can apparently quell an entire field with an imperious look. He has never lost a major championship when leading after three rounds, and his career record when holding a lead entering the final round of any tournament is 39-3, . . .
All Woods had to do to extend his lead in this PGA was stand there and lash a series of steady iron shots. His strategy was to hit the center of the green and lag his putts on an afternoon when scoring was difficult and only five players finished 54 holes under par. His round of 1-under 69 was hardly dominant, but it was enough to stretch the lead over an array of opponents who showed the resistance of Farina. Woods’s average score in the third round of majors is 69; the average score of his partners is 73. [. . .]
If Woods’s legacy lacks one thing at this point, it’s a sense of the dramatic. At his best, his game is lulling, a matter of swing planes straight as the creases in his clothes, and perfect parabolas. It’s difficult to render what he does so well, precisely because it’s so modulated and well regulated. [. . .]
His genius comes without emotional torture; he’s not especially revealing and demonstrative, like Sergio Garcia, or an emotional conduit for his audience, like Phil Mickelson. He’s all about chilly excellence. Greatness is his most definable quality. It’s a peculiar fact that Woods is actually more spectacular to watch when he’s struggling a little, when he has to hit creative recovery shots, and is forced to give up a bit of control.
The par 70 of Southern Hills has at once brought out the very best and yet most unspectacular aspects of Woods’s game. The doglegging layout is like a series of intricate locks. But Woods’s genius here is that he has turned a difficult puzzle of a course into an assembly line. He hits 4-irons off the tee to the middle of the fairway, plays his approaches below the hole and then either makes the putt or doesn’t.
His strategy has been, in his words, “just try to keep hitting fairways and put the ball in the center of the greens and lag-putt well.”
Even his 63 in Friday’s second round, which tied the record for low round in a major championship, was oddly unexciting. The score itself was probably the most interesting about it. His boldest shots of the day were a 35-foot putt to save par on the 12th hole, and his missed horseshoe putt on the 18th. There was no pin-seeking and bouncing it off the flagsticks, or driving 350-yard bombs.
The only drawback to any of this — and it’s not a criticism — is that Woods’s victories aren’t always especially memorable. They might be memorable for his margin of victory, but not for his Arnold Palmer-like Sunday charges, with whooping galleries at his back. This is not his fault, but frankly the fault of his opponents, who have failed to challenge him.
There is a handful of players capable of making noise on a course, who can capture the attention of the golf world for an instant, or maybe even part of a weekend. But when they quiet down — and they always do — there remains the relentless Woods, poised, with his hands finishing high over his shoulder, then twirling the club and letting it slide back down, as he watches the ball descend to another green.

If you find yourself watching Tiger Woods waltz to his 13th major tournament championship this afternoon, then take a moment to check out this Mark Button/Avid Golfer article on the best private golf clubs and courses in the Houston metropolitan area. Avid Golfer rates the following as the best private courses in the Houston area:
1. Walden on Lake Conroe
2. Bentwater Golf Club, Grand Pines
T3. The Club at Carlton Woods, Fazio Course
T3. The Club at Carlton Woods, Nicklaus Course
5. Deerwood Golf Club
6. Shadow Hawk Golf Club
7. River Oaks Country Club
8. Champions Golf Club, Cypress Creek Course
9. The Clubs of Kingwood, Island Course
T10. The Woodlands Country Club, East Course
T10. Royal Oaks Country Club
T12. Lakeside Country Club
T12. Lochinvar Golf Club
14. The Woodlands Country Club, Player Course
15. Bentwater Country Club, Weiskopf Course
Here are my previous posts (with pictures) of the Fazio Course at Carlton Woods, Lochinvar Golf Club and the Tournament Course at Redstone Golf Club. For what it’s worth (i.e., very little), the following is my top 15 of Houston’s best private golf courses:
1. Grand Pines at Bentwater Country Club
2. Walden on Lake Conroe
3. The Fazio Course at Carlton Woods in The Woodlands
4. Whispering Pines Golf Club (Trinity, Tx)
5. Deerwood Golf Club
6. Champions Golf Club (Cypress Creek)
7. The Nicklaus Course at Carlton Woods in The Woodlands
8. Lochinvar Golf Club
9. River Oaks Country Club
10. Shadow Hawk Golf Club
11. The Woodlands Country Club, East Course (formerly the TPC at The Woodlands)
12. Kingwood Country Club, Island Course
13. The Woodlands Country Club, Gary Player Course
14. Kingwood Country Club, Forest Course
15. Houston Country Club

Does this mean that I should be listening to Le Nozze Di Figaro, K.492: “Che Soave Zeffiretto” while practicing my golf swing?:

[Yale University physics professor Robert] Grober has created an instrument that gives a player an immediate response to the golf swing. A smooth, rhythmic swing with Groberís sensor emits a pleasing tone. A herky-jerky motion lets out a wail.
To create the sound of a golf swing, Grober used Musical Instrument Digital Interface technology that combined instruments like the piccolo, the oboe and the French horn. The music ó an audio interpretation of the swing itself ó is transmitted wirelessly to the golfer through a headset.
ìThis dimension that they can access while theyíre hitting the golf club opens up a whole world of information that they hadnít otherwise had,î he said. ìGetting it in this format, in a real-time basis, helps people to change on time scales which are much shorter than traditionally. It used to be if you wanted to make a mechanical change in your golf swing, it could take months to do that. But if you can hear whatís going on, you can change the sound space almost instantly.î
Grober said by having players focus on tempo instead of swing mechanics, the mechanics often followed anyway. ìReally quickly they understand itís about tempo and they forget all these complicated thoughts about position,î he said. ìWhen the motion becomes dynamic and smooth, there are some good physics behind that.î
Grober, whose product is scheduled for release in January, said he has worked with 200 golfers and teachers on his invention. While the technology is new, the idea of using physics to teach a golf swing has been around for decades.
Ben Doyle, who wrote the foreword to Homer Kelleyís popular instruction book, ìThe Golfing Machine,î said he could see benefits in a golfer being able to listen to the sound of the golf swing.
ìYou hear the thrust of centrifugal force,î said Doyle, the golf instructor at the Golf Club at Quail Lodge in Carmel, Calif. ìIf a student can hear that sound, itís very important feedback.î

Read the entire article. Also, check out this video segment demonstrating the technology narrated by the author of the article, NY Times golf columnist, Damon Hack.

The 89th PGA Golf Tournament is being played this week at the Southern Hills Country Club Course in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Although the least prestigious of the four major tournaments, the PGA generally fields the strongest field of any of the majors. This year, each of the top 100 players in the world rankings is playing.
The tournament website is here, but if you really want to get a flavor of the golf course, check out this detailed Jay Flemma blog post and this Geoff Shackelford/Golf World article (see also here) on the venerable Percy Maxwell-designed Southern Hills course. Take it from one who has played it several times, it is a beaut, although this anonymous PGA Tour player doesn’t agree.

For pure entertainment value, there is nothing quite like an eruption between a PGA Tour player and his caddie during the heat of competition. This Jeff Rude/GolfWorld commentary reports on the latest such incident was between PGA Tour member Jay Williamson and his caddie, Mike Mollet, during the first round of last week’s Canadian Open:

Both agree that Mollet, on the tee of the par 3, said the wind was blowing right to left. Both agree that Williamson hit a 9-iron over the green long left. Both agree that Williamson hit a weak chip from a bad lie to about 30 feet from the hole. Both agree a frustrated Williamson told Mollet he thought the wind was blowing downwind, not across, and that Mollet disagreed. Both agree that Williamson fired Mollet after an ensuing heated argument on the green. Both agree that Mollet threw a few of Williamsonís golf balls into a pond after getting canned. Both agree that Williamson used a spectator as his caddie the last four holes. [. . .]
What they disagree on is what ignited the explosion. Williamson said Mollet lost his cool first and embarrassed him with too much emotional talk and Williamson reacted. Mollet said Williamson lost his cool first and embarrassed him with too much emotional talk and Mollet reacted.
Williamson said the caddie kept yelling at him loudly, calling him a ìwhinerî among other personal insults, and used the F-word. Mollet said he got riled because Williamson directed the F-word and A-word toward him after the bad chip and while disagreeing about the wind direction. Williamson said he canít recall swearing.

Read the entire article about the spat, which is about par for the course in such matters. But Chris Lewis reminds us of my favorite player-caddie tiff, which occurred about 10 years ago between the volatile PGA Tour member Fulton Allem and his caddie, “Bullet” Burns. During the second round of the Heritage tournament at Hilton Head, Allem was struggling badly with his swing on the front nine and, while waiting to tee off on the 8th hole, had this exchange with his caddie:

“I feel like breaking something,” observed Allem
Burns didn’t miss a beat: “How about breaking par?”
ìVery funny,” Fultie replied. “Youíre fired.î

I’ve never had the opportunity to meet Phil Mickelson, but my sense from this episode and others that I’ve heard and read about lead me to believe that he’s a good and fun-loving guy. In addition, Philly Mick is apparently quite a practical joker.
Veteran Sports Illustrated golf correspondent Chris Lewis has just come out with an entertaining book about life on the PGA Tour entitled The Scoreboard Always Lies: A Year Behind the Scenes on the PGA Tour (Free Press 2007) and, in this interview about the book, Lewis passes along the following anecdote about Mickelson:

We were in Akron last year, and Phil was playing with Aaron Baddeley. Their group comes off on Friday (I think it was Friday), and all the sudden, these Akron cops come over, grab Aaronís caddie, Pete Bender, and drag him into a police car.
Pete, of course, has been around forever, and has seen it all ñ he used to caddie for Greg Norman, put in a bunch of years with Rocco Mediate, and so forth.
But now, after this round in Akron, the cops take him away, and he has no idea whatís going on. Turns out that years before, during a practice round in Maui (probably the last time Phil played the Mercedes), Pete had set a couple of snails down on the seat of Philís golf cart (they use carts during practice rounds there), and Phil of course sat on them. So years go by, and Phil never forgets.
Finally, last year in Akron, Pete winds up in the back of that squad car, and the cops tell him, ìMr. Bender, youíre here because of an outstanding warrant on a violation of a Hawaiian ordinance against cruelty to mollusks.î
Phil had set the whole thing up. Heís just standing there about fifty feet away, laughing his head off, while Peteís in the police car scared out of his wits.

For the first three days of this year’s British Open, Sergio Garcia used his new belly putter to sink seemingly every crucial putt to take a three-stroke lead into the final round. Through five holes of the final round, Garcia’s new-found putting stroke continued as he extended his lead to four strokes. But then, as Lawrence Donegan of The Guardian reports, the wheels of Garcia’s putting stroke suddenly careened into the nearest burn:

The first glimmer that the procession was heading for a few detours came on par-five 6th when he missed a four-foot putt for birdie, then barely holed the one coming back for par. The scores on the boards remained the same but the mood music had changed, from steady march to jazzy stagger. A poor approach shot to the back of the 7th green ended up costing him a shot and he dropped another at the next when he missed an eight-foot putt for par.

Which brings us to the best line that I’ve seen describing the probable result of Garcia’s fourth round putting collapse:

To [Garcia’s] credit he made a par at the next but, when he missed another short one on the 10th, shares in belly putters went the way of the Segway scooter.

By the way, my bet is that it’s just a matter of Garcia becoming comfortable with his belly putter before he wins a major tournament. He is a simply too good a ball-striker not to win at least one.
Also, did you notice how much more entertaining the British Open was in comparison to this year’s U.S. Open?

As we watch Tiger Woods pursue his 13th major championship this weekend at the British Open, it’s worth reminding ourselves that we are blessed to be able to watch the best golfer in history. CBS golf commetator David Feherty, who often walks with Woods while covering tournaments, passes along this anecdote in a recent interview:

“People have accused me of being so far up Tiger’s arse that he can barely make a full swing, but I maintain that he is a special person.”
“There’s no one else on the planet who can do what he does or even think of doing what he does. I’ve often thought, instead of showing Tiger’s reaction to a shot he’s hit, we really should show the reaction of those around him.
“But here is the next best thing. I’m walking down the 18th fairway at Firestone Country Club with Ernie Els and Tiger, who has popped up a three-wood about 40 yards behind Ernie into some wet, nasty, horrible, six-inch rough.”
“Tiger’s cursing and taking clumps out of Ohio with his three-wood. And, of course, we’re not showing this on TV because we want to be able to interview him later. Ernie and I walk past Tiger’s ball, and it is truly buried.”
Ernie is tied with Tiger and he’s in the middle of the fairway. I’m standing with Ernie and my microphone is open. Ken Venturi [in the CBS booth] sends it to me and I say, “Tiger’s got 184 yards with two big red oaks overhanging the green. He’s got absolutely nothing. With a stick of dynamite and a sand wedge I might be able to move this ball 50 yards. Steve Williams [Woods’ caddie] tells me [with a hand signal] that he’s using a pitching wedge.”
“Tiger takes his swing. Every muscle in his body is flung at the ball. It looks like he’s torn his nutsack. The divot went as far as I could hit the ball. I’ve got my microphone at my mouth thinking, what the hell was that! The ball sails over the trees, lands behind the hole and backs up to a bout six feet from the flag. I open my microphone and Ernie turns and says, “F*** me!”
“My producer comes on in my earpiece and says, “Was that Ernie?” I say yes. He says, “Fair enough.”
“I could have described that shot for 15 minutes and not done as good a job as Ernie did with two words. This is one of the best players in the world talking, and you wanna know how good Tiger is? Ask Ernie Els.”

The 136th British Open begins play this Thursday at Carnoustie in Scotland, so NY Times golf writer Damon Hack sets the stage (see also here) for this year’s event. The Open’s website is always one of the best tournament websites, and this year’s version includes this slick visual guide to the golf course. Meanwhile, Austin’s Dave Pelz, Phil Mickelson’s short game guru, gives this interesting interview on how Team Mickelson is preparing for the special challenges of Carnoustie.
By the way, this year’s event is the first time that the Open has been back to Carnoustie since 1999, when France’s Jan Van de Velde self-destructed on the 72nd hole by taking a 7, blowing a three shot lead and then blowing another opportunity to win the championship in the subsequent playoff. That meltdown on the final day of a major tournament prompted one of the better golf jokes that I’ve heard over the years:

“What does ‘Jan Van de Velde’ mean in English?”
“Greg Norman.”