This post is a father’s description of his eight year old daughter’s first date, which happened to be with Bill Murray, who introduced her “as my wife.”

Best crack of the weekend came from CBS Golf on-course commentator, Irishman David Feherty, during the final round of the NEC Golf Championship, discussing Irish golfer Paul McGinley‘s background as a Gaelic football player:

“Gaelic football? Now, that’s one tough sport. Just one rule: No homicide.”

I have no idea where my nephew Richard comes up with such things, but the two minute video that he links to in this blog post is pretty darn clever.
By the way, Rich, I highly recommend that you do not attempt to perfect the skill evidenced in the video while juggling your distractions this fall at Northwestern University Law School. Not that it would interfere with your studies that much. Rather, too many professors would be pestering you to teach them how to do it! ;^)

As noted in this earlier post, I am a big fan of the English tradition of writing lighthearted obituaries. This Daily Telegraph obit is another wonderful example of that tradition, as reflected by the opening description of the decedent, former English barrister, Peter Parkenham:

Patrick Pakenham, who has died aged 68, was a talented barrister and the second son of the 7th Earl and Countess of Longford; highly intelligent, articulate and possessed of an attractive and powerful voice, Pakenham could have attained great professional heights, but his boisterous nature and bouts of mental illness rendered it impossible for him to adhere to the routine required to sustain his position at the Bar, and he retired after 10 years’ practice.

But that overview is nothing compared to this anecdote:

During his legal career, Pakenham became something of a legend, and, 25 years on, accounts of his exploits are still current. During his appearance before an irascible and unpopular judge in a drugs case, the evidence, a bag of cannabis, was produced.
The judge, considering himself an expert on the subject, said to Pakenham, with whom he had clashed during the case: “Come on, hand the exhibit up to me quickly.” Then he proceeded to open the package. Inserting the contents in his mouth, he chewed it and announced: “Yes, yes of course that is cannabis. Where was the substance found, Mr Pakenham?”
The reply came swiftly, if inaccurately: “In the defendant’s anus, my Lord.”

Read the entire piece, as it only gets better. Hat tip to Is that Legal for the link.

Texas Rangers pitcher Kenny Rogers and television evangelist Benny Hinn were in intense competition yesterday over who could have the most outrageous public snit of the month and perhaps the year.
First Rogers:

Rogers shoved two cameramen before the Rangers’ game against Los Angeles on Wednesday in a videotaped tirade that included throwing a camera to the ground and threatening to break more.

“Kenny is having anger issues right now,” Rangers general manager John Hart said. “I don’t know what’s going on inside. We’re responding to something that’s very unusual.”
Rogers, who missed his last start with a broken pinkie he sustained during an outburst earlier this month, lashed out at the cameramen as they filmed him walking to the field for pregame stretching. He wasn’t scheduled to pitch and was sent home by the club following the incidents . . .
The 40-year-old left-hander first shoved Fox Sports Net Southwest photographer David Mammeli, telling him: “I told you to get those cameras out of my face.”
Rogers then approached a second cameraman. He wrestled the camera from Larry Rodriguez of Dallas-Fort Worth television station KDFW, threw it to the ground and kicked it.
The 6-foot-1, 210-pound pitcher saw two other cameramen who were recording from the Rangers’ dugout and walked toward them. He did not make contact with the men, who were backing away.
“I’ll break every … one of them,” Rogers said before he was escorted to the clubhouse by catcher Rod Barajas.
The Rangers sent Rogers home about an hour later . . .
Texas lost eight of nine entering Wednesday night’s game.
Rogers, who leads the team with nine wins, has refused to talk to reporters all season. He has also boycotted most media since a report before spring training that he threatened to retire if he wasn’t given a contract extension.

But as impressive as Rogers’ snit was, Hinn is not backing off. Unimpressed with the number of Nigerians who attended his latest crusade, Hinn went ballistic on the disrespectful Africans:

Whatever disappointment he felt on the first and second days of the miracle crusade, Hinn kept to himself – but he opened up with anger on the final day.
“Four million dollars down the drain,” he shouted into the microphone from the huge rostrum.
He said that he had been assured by the local organising committee that at least six million people would attend the crusade – but the total turnout was only around one million. As a result, he realised that all the mega public address equipment he had flown in from the US was not needed.
He also complained about some claimed expenditures, the charges imposed on pastors who attended his day-time seminar, and journalists who sought to cover the crusade.
He then announced publicly that he would not provide any more funds, and that the local organisers should pay all outstanding bills from the collections they made on the first two days.

Winner of the snit contest to be announced in a few days. Hat tip to Chris Elam for the link to the Hinn article.