Those Texas Longhorns are playing football again (albeit not very impressively), so it’s time for Ida Mae Crimpton to provide the inside scoop on the Horns first game, straight from her front porch in beautiful Elgin, Texas. According to Ida Mae, the first game was bad, but the after-the-game Longhorn locker room was much worse:

And based on what Mack’s wife, Sally, told me, it wasn’t any picnic in the locker room after the game, either. Sally said that Mack really read the guys the riot act. He yelled at them and told them that after the way they played, they didn’t need to expect any post-game orange Gatorade, either (and he was true to his word, tooÖhe made them stand in line at the water cooler). And then when Offensive Coordinator Greg Davis got back from gassing up Mack’s car and bringing it around (he also lets the air conditioner run for a while so it’s nice and cool when Mack gets in to drive home), he told the offense how disappointed he was. He said that Mack had every right to be pissed off and that they would be doing double drills this coming week in preparation for TCU. Well, that made the guys groan, let me tell you. It was a pretty glum locker roomÖyou’d have thought we’d lost or something.

But that’s not all. Read the entire piece.