Best crack yet on the Federal Trade Commission’s remarkably misdirected lawsuit to enjoin the proposed Whole Foods-Wild Oats Markets merger comes from Mr. Juggles over at Long and Short Capital. Commenting on the FTC’s novel theory that the merger will reduce competition in the market catering to those of us who seek a “superior grocery store experience,” tongue firmly planted in cheek, Mr. Juggles observes as follows:

Frankly, I agree [with the FTC’s theory]. I spent 20 minutes waiting in the deli line at Food Lion last week, only to be sold ground beef that looked like it had been dropped on the floor and then put back in the deli case. I love superior quality and superior service and abhor the idea that Whole Foods could acquire the only other superior provider, Wild Oats. At that point, given their monopoly on quality service, what would happen next? Iíll tell you what: weíd probably all end up paying a huge premium for our smoked gouda and wild Alaskan salmon.