One of the true characters in the basketball culture of Texas — former Texas A&M coach Shelby Metcalf — died this past Thursday in College Station at the age of 76. Anyone who has lived in Texas and followed basketball knows about Metcalf, who coached at A&M when basketball was truly just a diversion between football and spring football. But Metcalf’s teams were always competitive against teams of superior personnel and the Texas A&M administration learned just how special a coach Metcalf was after they unceremoniously fired him in 1990 after 26 and a half seasons at the helm of Aggie basketball. The Aggie program promptly went into a tailspin for the next 15 years until current coach Billy Gillespie was hired three seasons ago and transformed the Aggie program into a national power.
But as good a coach as Metcalf was, he was an even better storyteller and comedian. Metcalf’s dry wit and calm demeanor are legendary in Texas coaching circles, where his observation that one of his players who had 4 F’s and a D was “concentrating too hard on one class” is probably his best-known crack. Metcalf was my one of my favorite coaches to listen to during an interview, so here are a some of my favorite Metcalf observations from over the years:

After a tough game in Lubbock, a reporter asked Metcalf in the post-game press conference about what he told his players after Tech fans resorted to throwing coins at the Aggies. Metcalf replied: “I told my players to show some class, and not pick up anything less than a quarter.”
In talking about how dramatically recruiting had changed during the course of his long career, Metcalf recalled how he had recruited a player in the mid-1960’s by taking him fishing and observed ruefully: “You just canít get real good players with catfish anymore.”
When a number of A&M players were having trouble academically, Metcalf arranged to have them enrolled in a basket weaving so that they could increase their grade point average. “Problem was,” Metcalf later admitted. “A couple of them were American-Indians, and they set such a high curve that they flunked the others out.”
Commenting on the notoriously fickle A&M fans, Metcalf observed: “The only happy Aggie is an unhappy Aggie.”
Metcalf loved nicknames. So, after recruiting a player out of Louisiana named Smart, Metcalf nicknamed him “Plenty.” After reviewing first semester grades, Metcalf changed Smart’s nickname to “Nottoo.”
After former Aggie football coach R.C. Slocum resigned under pressure during the A&M administration led by former CIA Chief and current Defense Secretary William Gates, Metcalf commented: “R.C.’s lucky. He could have just disappeared, you know.”
Metcalf always had the same pre-season observation about the keys to a successful season: “Stay happy, healthy and out of foul trouble.”
During a particularly turbulent airline flight, an A&M player was feeling quite nauseous.

ìSon, what’s wrong with you?î inquired Metcalf.
ìCoach,” replied the player. “I am dizzy, sweaty, and nauseous. I think I might throw up.”
“Well now,” Metcalf shot back. “Now you know how I feel every time I have to put you in a game!”

Update: Chronicle sports columnist John Lopez, an A&M grad who knew Metcalf for over 25 years, passes along this heartfelt tribute.