Amid the mainstream media’s mindless analysis of Major League Baseball in general and the Houston Astros in particular, Baseball Prospectus provides an objective, and less than encouraging, analysis of the Astros’ bench players for the upcoming season:

We’ve put off discussing the Astros’ bench options this spring since the outlook is, in a word, depressing. They basically have Jason Lane and a bunch of guys who are, um, alive. Technically, anyway. But it’s time we got on with it.
Long-Time Farmhand, First-Time Backup: Speaking of the undead, someone has to be on hand in case Brad Ausmus is ever out of the lineup. With John Buck failing to develop at all, Raul Chavez has been tabbed for the duties this year. Unsurprisingly, PECOTA figures Chavez would likely out-hit Ausmus, but the latter’s glove and organizational track record results in zero chance that he’ll be pulled from the lineup until (and even if) Buck is ready.
Scrubs in the Infield: With Jose Vizcaino is entrenched as the fifth infielder for another year, and no obvious plan for the sixth spot, the competition would seem wide open, but most of the apparent candidates were eliminated from the get-go. Chris Burke and Tom Whiteman need to play every day at New Orleans to see if they’ll finally amount to something, so have no business rotting on the big club’s bench. David Matranga, who spent time in Houston last year, has long since been outrighted off the 40-man roster. That pretty much boils the situation down to Eric Bruntlett, who would most likely ride pine at either level, and the carcass of John Valentin, who was brought in to light a fire under a youngster to be named later, but has managed just a single in 21 at-bats this spring. Expect Bruntlett to emerge as a victor, as there’s no reason for Valentin to force someone through waivers, even in an organization this veteran-focused.
Outfield Depth: As mentioned above, Lane will server as the fourth outfielder, inspiring fantasy players everywhere to hope for an injury to Craig Biggio. Since the internal options for fifth outfielder are even worse than for the sixth infielder, Orlando Palmeiro was hauled in despite an uninspiring glove and a projected .240 EqA. Was it really that important to give him $750K instead of keeping Colin Porter or Henri Stanley around to play for the minimum? It seems impossible to believe, but given the insistence on re-upping guys like Ausmus and Vizcaino, it seems pretty clear that the front office is using an evaluation system even more peculiar than the A’s defensive system.

In this related Chronicle story, Astros’ owner Drayton McLane publicly denies the persistent local rumor that he is negotiating to sell the club to Houston restaurateur Tilman Fertitta, CEO of Landry’s, Inc.