Following on his earlier comments about the abysmal American Ryder Cup team’s performance noted here, Golf Digest and Golf World European correspondent John Huggan is continuing to have a lot of fun at the expense of the American squad members. Among Huggan’s ten ways to give the American squad a chance in the next Ryder Cup matches are the following:
5) COMPULSORY YEAR ON THE EUROPEAN TOUR
The sea of sameness that is the PGA Tour is producing – apart from Tiger and maybe Furyk – wave after wave of players who are basically indistinguishable. Yes, they can all hit good shots. But those shots are the same good shots, time after tedious time.
And why is this? Week after week, the courses in the US are presented in the same unimaginative way, making a wide range of shot-making unnecessary and, increasingly, obsolete. A year spent experiencing a wider variety of conditions, food and travel would do the likes of Zach Johnson the world of good and, by extension, help out the Ryder Cup. He might even learn some good jokes.
Then there is the amount of money involved in the PGA Tour. The American side arrived at the K Club having picked up close to $38m among them this year. Mostly for finishing tied for seventh. No wonder they, Woods apart, can’t handle it when they are suddenly asked to beat someone. That’s a foreign concept or, in this case, a concept embraced only by foreigners.
6) COMPULSORY MATCH-PLAY RULES/ ETIQUETTE SEMINAR FOR ALL US PLAYERS
Hey, DiMarco! Yes, this one is for you. Next time you hole a putt from 20 feet to keep a completely-meaningless match alive, let’s make do without the obnoxious fist-pumping, okay? And, on the 18th, with your opponent one up and on the green for two shots and you about to play four from the edge of a lake into which you have just deposited a shiny new ball, walk over and shake hands like a proper golfer – one who has mastered simple arithmetic.
8) STOP YAKKING ON ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF CAPTAINCY
Let’s face it, this is a job anyone can do. Look at the captains: one team were skippered by a man who seemed to have every eventuality covered; the other side had a leader whose next coherent thought will be his first. And guess who won?
10) GIVE THE US TEAM A SIX-POINT START
Hey, at least that would keep things pretty close beyond the end of the second day.
Ouch! I don’t know about you, but I really hope the 2008 American squad kicks the Euro team’s ass. This is really getting old.